- The Storried Platform
Before you flare up and tear this letter to shreds, I know I have no right to call you that anymore. I know that if I was within eighty meters of you right now, you would’ve driven one of your javelins through my neck already. I know you don’t want to hear from me ever again and I perfectly understand that, however, if only for what we once shared, you deserve an explanation for what you saw in my bedroom that afternoon.
After you and I became an item, we promised each other there would be no secrets between us. And I did try to keep that promise. I told you all my deepest secrets; all, except one. I failed to tell you about my sexual identity crisis.
Maybe six years in the boarding house of an all-male secondary school contributed, I’ll never know, but right from my teenage years, I realized that although I had an occasional crush on girls like every other guy, I experienced similar attractions to guys too. This fact bothered me for many years as I struggled to make sense out of it. After three girlfriends, however, I began to feel secure.
‘I am as straight as a laser beam’, I assured myself, concluding that it was hyper-active hormones which inspired those queer attractions I sometimes had. Shortly afterward, I met you, and you were the most amazing thing that ever happened to me. I loved you deeply and I was certain that nothing could ever come between us. Then, I met Dave.
I met him on one of those Wednesdays when you would go to the National Stadium to practice your javelin throwing towards the Olympics while I went to our favorite spa for a massage. We both had massages in the same room and got talking, eventually exchanging phone numbers. After two weeks of conversation, he told me he liked me and that he knew I liked him too. His confidence and intense charm astounded me and I immediately pointed out that I had a girlfriend. That wouldn’t be a problem, he’d replied, he was okay with being a third wheel.
We hung out together a few times and then we graduated from holding hands secretly when the cinema lights went dim, to hugging in his room, to kissing intimately and then things went really wild from there.
Then that afternoon, when everything between us burnt up in flames, came. I and Dave had had so much fun the night before that I totally forgot about my date with you. Worse still, we were so engrossed in the act that I didn’t even hear you open my apartment door with the spare key. And then you walked in on Dave and I, right in the middle of intercourse.
I’ve replayed that scene a million times in my head and tried putting myself in your shoes. You must have been utterly devastated, finding your boyfriend in bed WITH ANOTHER MAN! It must’ve broken you, and I will forever regret putting you through that.
Still, you could have called the police in on me, but you didn’t. You could have destroyed me, Laide, and even I wouldn’t have blamed you. But you didn’t. The only logical deduction I could make was that you did love me and I’m deeply sorry that I betrayed such pure, true love.
You will find a better lover than I ever was sooner than you think Laide, but please, no matter where life’s wind blows you, always remember one thing… I loved you.
Yours, in all sincerity,
ANNOUNCING THE WINNING ENTRY FOR THE FEBRUARY