SERIAL DATERS

SERIAL DATERS – By Ify Omeni

A beautiful young lady comes into a Christian assembly. She has been hearing so much about the church and out of curiosity, her steps lead her there.

She is awed by the ambience, the praise and worship are out of this world and the preacher’s message is on point. She is fascinated and decides to make the place her home church.

Not too long after, she joins the ushers department. Her inviting smiles draw many to the church. Especially the males. Soon they begin to swarm around her like bees to honey. She is particularly drawn to one of them.

He is the prototype dream partner painted on the canvas of every lady’s dream. Tall, dark, handsome, with a great job, flashy car, a smile that can charm the birds off the trees and raps that can make a lady go weak at the knees.

Storried Serial Daters 1

Wow! She is blown away. She cannot believe her luck. God certainly ordered her steps to that place and now blessed her with this charming man. He takes her out on dates and keeps her laughing from his repertoire of jokes. She leaves his presence every day with stars in her eyes. And she cannot wait to regale her friends with tales about him.

Then one day!

She tells the head of the ushers department about him and she is upset at the response.

‘You too? You have fallen for him?’

‘I don’t think I like that statement. Brother Kenneth came to me. I did not throw myself at him and he is serious about me.’

‘I am sure he is. So has he been with others.’

‘Ma?’

‘Talk to Pastor Nicholas. He is in charge of the Family Life Department in this church. He will tell you more.’

And so, Sister Sharon meets Pastor Nicholas who screams,

‘Kenneth again?’

‘What has he done sir?’

‘My dear sister. Church is a hospital. There are many patients there. Some are responding to treatment and some are not responding to treatment. Kenneth over the past ten years has not been responding to treatment. As you see him wearing suit there, he is a mad person. He is very close to fifty years old and has refused to show commitment to any lady. He is one of the SERIAL DATERS that have invaded the church of Christ in recent times. You may have heard of SERIAL KILLERS but there are SERIAL DATERS invading planet earth now. They are men of thirty-five, forty, forty-five, fifty and above. Men who have refused to get married. Kenneth specifically has won an award for BEST SERIAL DATER for five years straight. He has won it in the church and graduated from church to the zone. Anytime a new lady comes into the church, he digs his fangs into her. He dates her for a while and dumps her after toying with her emotions, to date the newest kid on the block. He acts like a child that dumps an old toy when he or she sees a newer one.’

Sharon left the presence of Pastor Nicholas with shaky knees. She was wild with anger and waited patiently for Kenneth to come with his sugar coated tongue so she could give him her own acidic tongue.

But he beat her to it.

Because the next Sunday, she saw him talking to a new lady who was chuckling like a child that had been given a favourite candy.

Sharon shook her head as she learnt a bitter lesson.

I got this scenario from a message preached by a man of God I respect so much. He is an experienced marriage counsellor and has ‘treated so many cases’ like the one I just narrated.

Dear Sister, please beware. Do not be a victim.

There are many good men out there. Let them find you. Like Pastor Matthew Ashimolowo said:

Don’t Date Devils!

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SERIAL DATERS

By Ify Omeni

A beautiful young lady comes into a Christian assembly. She has been hearing so much about the church and out of curiosity, her steps lead her there.

She is awed by the ambience, the praise and worship are out of this world and the preacher’s message is on point.

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